Valentine's Day tips to keep your relationship healthy

February 10, 2014

Ah, Valentine’s Day – a time for love and sweet times spent with your significant other. 

If only it were so easy. Romance can be a balancing act, especially if you live with your partner.  Download Full Image

Jess Alberts, Arizona State University President’s Professor in the Hugh Downs School of Human Communication, has spent recent years researching conflict in personal and professional relationships, including marital conflict, the division of domestic labor and couples’ daily interaction.

To make your relationship with your partner work better, Alberts shares these recommendations for managing conflict: 

• Agree with your partner to never do any name calling, ever. “It wounds, and it wounds deeply,” Alberts said. 

• Look at how you attribute blame or how you react to something your partner does or doesn’t do. How you interpret your partner’s behavior has a significant impact on the reason why you are angry. “We don’t respond to what people do. We respond to the reason that we think they did the behavior,” Alberts said.

• If you have a problem with your significant other’s behavior, ask them about their perspective or why they thought their actions were a good idea. The reasons behind what they did may surprise you. Sometimes people are exhausted and not thinking straight. Or, they may think that you would do the same thing in their situation. Or, they may not have been thinking about you when they made their decision. “People usually have reasons for what they do,” Alberts said. 

• Be positive. “I tell students that we fall in love with our reflection in our lover’s eyes. This means that part of the reason we love someone else is how they see us and make us feel. It really helps to have that positive attitude when things are going well, and especially when you fight,” she said. 

• Don’t use your relationship as a source of power. Don’t try to control your partner by telling them what they can and cannot do. “Using your relationship as a source of power doesn’t work very well,” she said. “An argument shouldn’t be about winning. It should be about solving a problem. No one is happy in a relationship where they feel like they have no control and they lose all of the time.” 

• Negotiate household tasks and realize that your significant other may have a lower threshold for mess than you do. Things that one person may not even notice can drive another person nuts. Talk about the division of labor in the household and how you’ll handle it if you have different thresholds for clutter. 

• Don’t stew in anger. Talk about things before you explode. But, be sure to pick a time to talk that is as good for your partner as it is for you.

Women's HERstory events planned for ASU community

February 10, 2014

Beginning March 1, Arizona State University will join the nation in recognizing the contributions and achievements of women during Women's HERstory Month. The first annual, university-wide celebration will include various events that will highlight women's groups across all four campuses and raise awareness about women’s history.

The student-led initiative is working to cultivate an environment that is conducive to the progression and success of women at the university, local and global level. Download Full Image

“We are hoping that this inaugural year of Women’s HERstory Month will provide women with a greater sense of unity and awareness throughout the ASU community,” said Shelby Lynn, president of the Womyn’s Coalition.

Women's History Month was declared a national celebration in 1987 by congress, according to the National Women’s History Project website.

“'HERstory is OURstory' is the theme our students created to celebrate women past and present," says Lizzie Dement, coordinator for Student & Cultural Engagement. “The students have planned some great activities for the ASU community."

The HERstory is OURstory Festival will kick off the celebration from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., March 4, on Hayden Lawn at the Tempe campus. The festival will showcase women's organizations across the university through music, dance and food.

Additional events include:

Empowering Transformational Leaders
5-9 p.m., March 5, Memorial Union 202, Tempe campus
Join Tony D’Angelo as he comes to ASU to speak about being a Transformation Leader

Make Your Partner a Real Partner
6-7:15 p.m., March 18, Discovery 150, Tempe campus
Panel discussion based on Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In" chapter, "Make Your Partner a Real Partner"

Common Ground Coffee: Bringing Women of Different Beliefs Together
4:30-6 p.m., March 19, West Hall 130, Tempe campus
Join Sun Devils are Better Together for coffee as women of different beliefs come together across ASU to support and learn from each other

Thinking through Pictures with Temple Grandin
6:30 p.m., March 19, Cooley Ballroom B, Polytechnic campus
Showing of the movie "Temple Grandin"

Film Screening - Frida 
7 p.m., March 20, Memorial Union Art Café, Tempe campus
Showing of the movie "Frida"

Megan Koth: Necessary Objects
8 a.m.-5 p.m., March 24-27, Step Gallery, Downtown Phoenix campus
Necessary Objects is a solo painting exhibition examining feminine gender performance through the lens of beauty products and the commercial imagery through which they’re sold. Most young girls form a feminine identity through the world of beauty products, their related media and the rituals of makeup application. By using still life and pop-inspired colorful imagery, Necessary Objects reveals how the seemingly innocuous act of “putting on one’s face” can result in a complicated, sometimes neurotic relationship to one’s own appearance.

HE(W)R - Honoring Empowered Women Reception
6:30-9 p.m., March 25, A.E. England, Downtown Phoenix campus
Join us at HE(W)R to celebrate women leaders throughout the Greater Phoenix community through music, conversation and food.

Women in Religion
6 p.m., March 27, Memorial Union 229 Santa Cruz Ballroom, Tempe campus
Roundtable discussion about women and religion

ASU vs. Arizona Women’s Softball
7 p.m., March 30, Farrington Softball Stadium, Tempe
Come out and celebrate women in the ASU community as we cheer on the ASU Women’s Softball team against the University of Arizona.